So a week ago, I met Gloria Steinem at a lecture she gave in my city. And, no, despite that I’m writing a piece about her visit for the local publication I write for, I didn’t get to attend the intimate reception held for her prior to the talk (even though I groveled then complained endlessly about it to my editor and a few friends).
No matter. I stood in line and meandered my way into the auditorium with the rest of what I swore was the entire world population crammed into a single sardine can, and when the announcement came that she was about to take the final question, I bolted, book in hand, from my balcony seat, down two flights of stairs, and made it to tenth place in line for the ability to have up to thirty seconds with her face-to-face.
She wasn’t doing posed pictures (because there were like a thousand people in line), so my partner stood with two phones getting ready to capture the magical moment I would stand face to face with Gloria Steinem.
In all her glory.
I was all, “maybe just focus on one camera because what if they’re both blurry…”
and he was all, “don’t worry; I got this.”
Here is what he captured, and how I posted it to the Birth Anarchy Facebook wall:
Omg, I know, RIGHT?!
I was basically floating on a Steinem-high all night.
And then this happened:
Some people lost their ever loving shit.
Because I said, “Man up.”
So, I spent a minute:
chuckling over people’s inability to read such obvious felicitousness.
Then stepped in Empowered Woman, who lamented my poor choice because, you know, I’m supposed to be such a powerful voice for women. And now, in one fell swoop I lost that card.
UGH, there are so many RULES. God, it’s hard to keep track. I mean, I started a running list a while ago, but it seems like I need to make some tweeks. Like, now I need to add:
- Must always be serious; must never be flippant; do not laugh; no humor allowed.
No matter, though. Empowered Woman is not sticking around:
Good luck with your secret project with Gloria Steinem,” she says, “I won’t be able to find out what it is of course, because I personally can’t follow a page that uses celeb photos and sarcasm as an end product.
Glo and I have a secret project?
This just went from a fantastical inability to not read obvious sarcasm and wit to thinking what I said to her in that 30 second book signing was so mind blowing that Glo and I are now BFF’s and brewing something big, yo.
(Disclosure: we are NOT on a first-name basis – she does not even know who I am – and also we are not crafting a secret project.)
Disclosure #2: I mostly wrote this so I could offer a running gif commentary.
But also, Disclosure #3:
Someone suggested an emoji might help…. But, well, I don’t offer a little winky-winky when I’m being sarcastic in person, and I’m hella not going to offer it up online.
Because it’s dumb.
And it’s not what I’m trying to convey.
And I’m not a troll on my own page. It’s safe to assume when Birth Anarchy says, “Man up” there’s a shit ton of sarcasm rolling around up in there.
If I’m offering any faces, it’s like this:
Lighten up, y’all.
If you’ve been around for more than a hot minute, you probably know that I’m quite often sarcastic as fuck.
And if you’ve only been around for a hot minute, well, now you know, too.
And let me just pre-empt any future departure monologues with this visual of how much I actually care: